


And Time (is All I Ask for)

by tukimecca



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:03:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9180673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tukimecca/pseuds/tukimecca
Summary: Maybe sometimes Johnny wishes they are not as obvious that whenever they find each other, their eyes would speak of words too much than people need to know and see.





	

_In the moonlight your face it glows like a thousand diamonds_  
 _I suppose, and your hair flows like the ocean breeze_  
 _Not a million fights could make me hate you_  
 _You're invincible, Yeah, It's true, It's in your eyes where I find peace_  
  
Broken - Secondhand Serenade

:::

Maybe sometimes Johnny wishes they are not as obvious that whenever they find each other, their eyes would speak of words too much than people need to know and see.

Maybe sometimes Johnny wishes Ten’s eyes are not too honest, not too vulnerable to the point that understanding Ten is as easy as reading child’s emotion. Sometimes Johnny wishes those eyes would stop seeking for him, chasing after him with such unbearably overwhelming tenderness that renders him breathless.

Sometimes Johnny wishes he is not that predictable either. He did that mistake in his early years, responding to the signal Ten sent him with equal excitement. He was young, carefree, and naive, believing that world is not so judgmental, but then he stumbled upon those nasty words and started shutting himself. Trembling as he held himself to sleep with his tears tracking a journey down his cheeks, the only comfort he can find is also his cataclysm. Ten’s arms were still lean back then, the muscles were not as defined as they are now. No word of comfort was offered, in fact, there was nothing expressed verbally. The most intimate mean of communication; body contact, that was his only source of solace, and Johnny wished he could just burn out in Ten’s captivating heat.

Sometimes Johnny wishes he did not decide to look away when Ten flits his gaze to him. Sometimes Johnny wishes he could stop himself from smiling a fraction too wide than he usually does when Ten cracked a joke or two. Sometimes Johnny wishes he allows more touch than he actually do, but sometimes, when Ten’s bony fingers are meandering way too close to a part that could pretty much be his heart, Johnny is glad he does not.

Sometimes Johnny wishes he does not want people to know but the temptation is too hard when Ten keeps on showing the sign, dark, red, and dangerously blinking above his head. Ten's smile is more radiant that cluster of thousand suns, light that could illuminate the most deep of uncharted abyss. Ten’s touch discloses as much as his eyes do, at times more than his words even. Johnny is helpless to the cause, unable to deny and can only receive.

Sometimes Johnny wishes he is not capable of feeling at all, so whenever Ten does as much as looking at anyone that is not him, his heart would not constrict like it was about to be ripped apart from the safety confines of his flesh and bones. So his head would stop chanting _‘look at me, look at me,’_ again and again like a prayer. So when Ten turns his way, he could stop deluding himself that Ten is doing that because he is Ten’s gravity, because they are bonded, inseparable.

Sometimes Johnny wishes he could stop himself before he let go of the railing and make the fall. Sometimes Johnny wishes he could stop himself from taking the leap. Sometimes Johnny wishes he could stop himself before crossing the bridge.

Sometimes Johnny wishes he is not loving him, but he does, the glass has been broken and even if he tried to mend them back together, there is bound to be a missing atomic particle, so the glass is not the same anymore.

Johnny has fallen for him, and for some it might not be final but for him it is, and as much as he wishes, he knows time is not something that could turn itself back. So here he is, wallowing in self-pity as he restrains himself for even glancing at the one who has his heart twirled around his fingers.

Johnny wishes that even if he can’t track them back, he can be forgiven.

**Author's Note:**

> Look at what spending new year watching NCT Life did you, ha! Totally not sorry, please be gentle with me because I literally know so little about them other than what my ever so lovely friend had told me. This was originally meant to jongkey but I always felt like this wasn't jongkey enough so it ended up sitting gathering dust in my folder. Figured this could work for johnten as well (since, you know, he /STARED/ a lot), and rewrote some part, then; ta da!


End file.
